Alright, so Sunday and Monday really have to go together in one blog because the adventure lasted through both of those days. Where do I begin??? I guess in the morning.
Nic and I woke up in the usual fashion, me blasting Fox and Friends and Nic, pissed off that I woke him from another dream about his ex girlfriend.
Our assignment was to "Develop a new sport with the marketing department at UCF."
Nic and I were both suspicious, as the concept for our sport, "Golf Ball Game", had recently been stolen from us by the Mattel corporation. The object of the game is to go in a small room, preferably made of cinder block, with a few of your friends, turn off the lights, and throw a golf ball really hard against the wall. The object is to not get hit. If you get hit, you lose but there aren't points so it doesn't really matter.
Anyway, "I was like frak this garbage, I'm going to the beach biotch!" I would have left but I could see in Nic's eyes that he thought we should do our assignment. I knew he really didn't want to let Christy down even though it was clear she hated us. Between you, me, and the wall, I just think he wants to make out with her... or more (j/k!).
So, we sat down at the table and got out our graph paper. After an hour of trying to come up with a new sport but instead just reinventing the Golf Ball Game, we were ready to give up. Then Nic started throwing the biscuits, left over from yesterday's KFC-catered sack race, into the trash bin. I got a brilliant idea and ran out the door. Nic, confused, ran after me. Nic was pissed that I ran out the door and started driving to UCF. He thought I had lost it and was running off with the car. In all his haste, he forgot to put on his shoes. I refused to turn around and assured him that we'd only have to stay a minute. Nic rolled his eyes but caved in.
Sometimes it's sooooo easy to beat down his will! LOL!!
As we pulled up we noticed Christy was waiting in the parking lot with her arms crossed and her brow furrowed. I said to Nic, "cave woman learn to put on dress," and Nic said, "yeah, it's a pretty nice looking dress too."
I was confused but didn't show it just in case he was trying to mess with me...
Anyway, when we got out of the car Christy stormed over to us. What follows is the arument recalled to the best of the editors abilities:
C: WHAT tHe F!!! whErE THe eFff WeRE YoU GUyS??!!!
P: whoa dude, chillax.
N: Hi Christy!
C: ChILlAx?!?!?!! HoW DAre U TeLl mE 2 ChiLLaXXx?! WhEAR R Ur ShOESSS?!?!?!!
P: prove it.
C: WhAT?!!?!
N: Prove it!
Then she gripped her head in pain and sat down defeated. We walked inside, whistling the Sanford and Son theme song. Nic didn't think I noticed but I saw him drop a note next to Christy. What ev bro!
When we got there we met a class of marketing students. It was weird. We could tell they had been waiting a long time as they had ordered pizza and it was now cold. I said, "Gentlemen, I don't want to waste any of your time."
I think I heard one guy whisper, "too late."
Nic pressed play on our boombox and the Jurassic Park theme started to play. Then I came right out with it, "Biscuit Ball!"
One hair-guy said, "What the eff dude? Basket ball?"
I says, "No, you throw biscuits in a trash can."
Then as I could see all their hands reaching for their heads in pain, Nic and I ran out, a whole angry mob of marketing Brads behind us. As we ran past Christy she gave us a look and then started crying. Then she yelled, "Kill them!!! Kill them both!!!"
We ran and hopped in our rental Kia and zipped the hell out of there. I never knew (though always suspected) it was so easy to piss off business school dudez.
We went straight back to the hotel and locked ourselves in our room. Then, after about an hour of lying low, we heard footsteps walk up to our door, then insert a key card, and then, after easily pulling the security chain out of the drywall it was screwed to, he walked into our room. Nic and I were shivering from fear in the tent. We were sure we were gonners. Then the guy sat down on the bed and turned on the T.V. We were too scared to move, let alone unzip the tent window to see who was out there so we laid low. We must have been in there for 2 hours or so. Nic farted like five times. I had a reeeaaally hard time not telling a bean joke.
Then we heard snoring so we both slowly went for the door. We didn't say anything but we both understood the plan was to attack this person in his sleep, like proper men. So we tip-toed out of the tent and then a light clicked on, and a voice said, "Hey Buddies!"
We turned around and saw that it was Todd, the guy from the defunct in-room theatre company who was at our place the other night. Turns out the snoring was from a T.V. show Todd was watching about snoring. Go fig!
Todd explained that he had been looking all over Orlando for us! He even tried contacting Visit Orlando to see if they could tell him where we were going next. The woman on the other end said, "Sir, I don't even know where they're going next." and she hung up.
So after days of searching, without sleeping, eating, or drinking, Todd decided to come back to the hotel room and wait for us. Somewhat ironically, when he originally left us we were in the same place that he found us, in the tent.
Nic and I both agreed that we at least owed him a meal for his troubles and he said we owed him more. After dancing around the topic for a while we finally found out he wanted us to get him a prostitute. We refused since it's illegal and gross but we did agree to set him up on a date with a woman we met who works at the hotel and is very fond of our blog, and our tent. Her name is Becky.
We let Todd clean himself off at our place though he didn't bring a change of clothes so we let him borrow a few things. Before long Becky showed up at our door but she wasn't alone. She brought a guy named Rich along as a chaperon. She said her mom wouldn't let her go otherwise. Rich was a pretty cool dude. He was a friend of Becky's growing up and, although he's now married, Becky's mom still hopes that the two of them might get together some day.
The evening started out ok. We decided to go to a place by the beach that Rich recommended.
It seemed like he wasn't doing anything other than taking a million pictures of everyone.
When we got to the seafood place Todd suggested that we might have an aperitif. Then he pulled out a huge jug of some sort of liquor and downed a huge gulp.
Almost immediately you could see a change in his eye. Then he snapped and ran off. We tried chasing after him for a while but then just decided to go to dinner and let him find us when he was through.
Dinner was great! Some of the freshest seafood around. And as I've often said, I'm on a seafood diet. I can only eat seafood.
The restaurant owned a big portion of the beach so we were allowed to take our beers outside and walk around a little bit, watching the sun set, etc... Then there came Todd!
Out of no where he came, drunk as a sailor! I noticed that the contents of his jug had been drastically reduced and his speech was slurred. He yelled at us for hiding from him.
And then he tried to kiss Becky... He made kissy noises and started walking over to Becky, also trying to sing a burlesque-type song but slipping constantly into livin-la-vida-loca.
Rich tripped him and he fell in the sand and started crying.
Then we decided it would be best to take his liquor, half as a trophy for defeating the great Todd menace, and half because we didn't want him drinking anymore.
By this time all the bars were starting to close and we were starting to sober up so we each drank a little of Todd's concoction. Before long we were all ruined.
I don't remember this but evidently I vommited between Todd's legs. He didn't seem to mind. The look in his eye suggests he even liked it.
Honestly I don't remember much after that. We all somehow ended up back at the hotel. Todd slept in our tent and Becky walked home. We woke up this morning and found out that our assignment was to take a day off today. Whether that's because Christy's P.O.ed at us again or what we don't know or care about. We just need some rest!!
Welp! All's well that ends well and...
OMG!!! We left Rich at the beach!!!
In the middle of this Nic took out his cell phone and called me in a daze, telling me how he just scored with a hot babe...
This morning when we woke up and checked under our door, we didn't find the normal folder containing our mission "O" the day.
Nic asked, "Why are we putting snakes in her gas tank? Won't they just die?"
Today we went to the train museum.
We were the only ones on the tour and Stelle, our "Trolley Tracker," insisted that we take a nap half way through.
Alright, sorry about not posting but it's been an emotional few days. Drego died as you all know... We attended his funeral yesterday (the guy was classy enough to put us on his funeral guest list the day before he died). Needless to say, this guy was the guy. Or is it, "this man was the man"? Does it matter? I mean, it's just substituting "guy" for "man."
O.K... So, as I mentioned, we have a new fun liaison only he doesn't want us to call him a fun liaison. He wants us to call him a "Funbassador." "Funbassador Drego."
Normally I'd find this behavior a little suspect but we talked to him the next day and he told us it was neccesary. He said we wouldn't wake up and that he suspected the black night had drugged our Mr. Pibbs... When I asked him why he told us the bed time story even though he suspected we were drugged, he said, "it looked like you needed it."
So, I guess our new fun liaison is going to be some guy named, "Mr. Drego." We don't know anything about him other than he used to be a Green Beret, and that he wants us to refer to him as a "Funbassador".
Alright, so Sunday and Monday really have to go together in one blog because the adventure lasted through both of those days. Where do I begin??? I guess in the morning.
So, we sat down at the table and got out our graph paper. After an hour of trying to come up with a new sport but instead just reinventing the Golf Ball Game, we were ready to give up. Then Nic started throwing the biscuits, left over from yesterday's KFC-catered sack race, into the trash bin. I got a brilliant idea and ran out the door. Nic, confused, ran after me. Nic was pissed that I ran out the door and started driving to UCF. He thought I had lost it and was running off with the car. In all his haste, he forgot to put on his shoes. I refused to turn around and assured him that we'd only have to stay a minute. Nic rolled his eyes but caved in.
When we got there we met a class of marketing students. It was weird. We could tell they had been waiting a long time as they had ordered pizza and it was now cold. I said, "Gentlemen, I don't want to waste any of your time."
Then we heard snoring so we both slowly went for the door. We didn't say anything but we both understood the plan was to attack this person in his sleep, like proper men. So we tip-toed out of the tent and then a light clicked on, and a voice said, "Hey Buddies!"
We let Todd clean himself off at our place though he didn't bring a change of clothes so we let him borrow a few things. Before long Becky showed up at our door but she wasn't alone. She brought a guy named Rich along as a chaperon. She said her mom wouldn't let her go otherwise. Rich was a pretty cool dude. He was a friend of Becky's growing up and, although he's now married, Becky's mom still hopes that the two of them might get together some day.
When we got to the seafood place Todd suggested that we might have an aperitif. Then he pulled out a huge jug of some sort of liquor and downed a huge gulp.
The restaurant owned a big portion of the beach so we were allowed to take our beers outside and walk around a little bit, watching the sun set, etc... Then there came Todd!
I don't remember this but evidently I vommited between Todd's legs. He didn't seem to mind. The look in his eye suggests he even liked it.
Here's a picture of their solution to get the internet working. You can't tell by the picture but there's one cable that goes all the way to the lobby (and then elsewhere).
We hate missing blogs so we ran to the computer just to find out that Nic had indeed posted one sometime last night and had completely forgotten about it. Not only that, but one of us had made a fairly elaborate toothpick bridge...
1: We only have one room
Before long the tent was set up and the place was as dirty as ever. Todd, Nic, and I were downing some Miller Lites when Todd yelled, "I'm a spelunker!" and he started climbing on our furniture.
We got him down and gave him our key card to play with. It seemed to distract him. Nic and I went in the tent and zipped it up in the hopes that Todd will think we left and will perhaps go searching for us.
So, we didn't get our assignment until around 10 this morning where as they usually arrive mysteriously sometime while we're asleep... Nic and I were playing Mario Kart and were right in the middle of a battle so we non-verbally agreed that we wouldn't hit pause, even to find out who the messenger was...
After that we headed out to Mt. Dora which, although nice, is not really in Orlando so we're calling shenanigans... Antiquing wasn't a total waste of time. Nic found an amazing brooch...
