Day 3: Hard Rock, La Nouba, and Orlando Bloom

O.K.

So today got off to a kind of slow start for me. Now I know why they called those shots "kamikazes." It's because in the morning, you feel like Japanese fighter pilots crashed their planes into you on purpose!

Nic got a nice early start this morning and got to check out the continental breakfast and omelette station. Evidently the omlette chef, Terry, is another transvestite but I need to check this out myself to be sure. Nic tends to call most women who don't talk to him trannies.

When I finally got out of bed Nic showed me our new mission that was slipped under our door last night: "Rock hard at the Hard Rock Cafe and then get crazy backstage with Cirque du Soleil's La Nouba!"

Since it was already 11:45 and lunch was at 12 I had to get dressed fast and accidentally put on Nic's pants. It made him uncomfortable but I explained to him that we didn't have enough time for me to change. Besides, I only packed one pair and they smelled like lemons.

The Hard Rock was awesome! Right away I knew what I wanted, the "Twisted Macaroni!" I came there with a burg-urge (urge for a burger) but changed my mind when I saw the macaroni was twisted. I love when restraunts make the food sound wild! Nic ordered the Herb Grilled Chicken Breast but got a bacon cheeseburger instead. I told him to have them take it back but he refused, even though the burger was cold... Live and learn man!





Leaving the Hard Rock we saw Nic's man-crush, Orlando Bloom. I thought to myself, "Orlando Bloom in Orlando, Florida? Serendipity anyone? This has to be a sign!" Nic was far too tongue tied to say anything so I went up to him and introduced us. I told him that we were something of celebrities ourselves having won this contest. He told me to leave him alone. When I asked him for a picture he said something like, "Sure, you can picture me saying 'No you can't have a picture with me'" I laughed and then started to take his picture but he slapped my hand, wagged his finger, and then went inside the Hard Rock. I asked Nic what he thought of Orlando Bloom now. He said, "Dreamy."


Later that afternoon we went to La Nouba, but not before we had to go home so I could put on my lemon pants. Anything to get Nic to stop complaining about we wearing out his crotch.


Now, I'm not much for circuses or for French circuses, but La Nouba was awesome! My favorite thing was when they flew through the air and then when they jumped through the building on trampolines! I kept looking at Nic to see his reaction but he was constantly looking at one of the woman acrobats. Later we got to go backstage and meet everyone. It was ok except the only one who spoke English was Palba (sp?) from the Ukraine. He told us that Orlando was like a dream come true. We told him that our dreams came true when we won the 67 smiles contest. I don't think he knew what we were talking about. All was going well but then Nic got caught staring at the same gymnast and she made a big stink.

The long and the short of it, Nic got us kicked out of an excellent backstage adventure but I'll let him tell you about that. I just hope this doesn't get us booted from the contest...