Days 20 and 21: Two days together as fun!

Alright, so Sunday and Monday really have to go together in one blog because the adventure lasted through both of those days. Where do I begin??? I guess in the morning.

Nic and I woke up in the usual fashion, me blasting Fox and Friends and Nic, pissed off that I woke him from another dream about his ex girlfriend.

Our assignment was to "Develop a new sport with the marketing department at UCF."

Nic and I were both suspicious, as the concept for our sport, "Golf Ball Game", had recently been stolen from us by the Mattel corporation. The object of the game is to go in a small room, preferably made of cinder block, with a few of your friends, turn off the lights, and throw a golf ball really hard against the wall. The object is to not get hit. If you get hit, you lose but there aren't points so it doesn't really matter.

Anyway, "I was like frak this garbage, I'm going to the beach biotch!" I would have left but I could see in Nic's eyes that he thought we should do our assignment. I knew he really didn't want to let Christy down even though it was clear she hated us. Between you, me, and the wall, I just think he wants to make out with her... or more (j/k!).
So, we sat down at the table and got out our graph paper. After an hour of trying to come up with a new sport but instead just reinventing the Golf Ball Game, we were ready to give up. Then Nic started throwing the biscuits, left over from yesterday's KFC-catered sack race, into the trash bin. I got a brilliant idea and ran out the door. Nic, confused, ran after me. Nic was pissed that I ran out the door and started driving to UCF. He thought I had lost it and was running off with the car. In all his haste, he forgot to put on his shoes. I refused to turn around and assured him that we'd only have to stay a minute. Nic rolled his eyes but caved in.

Sometimes it's sooooo easy to beat down his will! LOL!!

As we pulled up we noticed Christy was waiting in the parking lot with her arms crossed and her brow furrowed. I said to Nic, "cave woman learn to put on dress," and Nic said, "yeah, it's a pretty nice looking dress too."

I was confused but didn't show it just in case he was trying to mess with me...

Anyway, when we got out of the car Christy stormed over to us. What follows is the arument recalled to the best of the editors abilities:

C: WHAT tHe F!!! whErE THe eFff WeRE YoU GUyS??!!!
P: whoa dude, chillax.
N: Hi Christy!
C: ChILlAx?!?!?!! HoW DAre U TeLl mE 2 ChiLLaXXx?! WhEAR R Ur ShOESSS?!?!?!!
P: prove it.
C: WhAT?!!?!
N: Prove it!

Then she gripped her head in pain and sat down defeated. We walked inside, whistling the Sanford and Son theme song. Nic didn't think I noticed but I saw him drop a note next to Christy. What ev bro!
When we got there we met a class of marketing students. It was weird. We could tell they had been waiting a long time as they had ordered pizza and it was now cold. I said, "Gentlemen, I don't want to waste any of your time."

I think I heard one guy whisper, "too late."

Nic pressed play on our boombox and the Jurassic Park theme started to play. Then I came right out with it, "Biscuit Ball!"

One hair-guy said, "What the eff dude? Basket ball?"

I says, "No, you throw biscuits in a trash can."

Then as I could see all their hands reaching for their heads in pain, Nic and I ran out, a whole angry mob of marketing Brads behind us. As we ran past Christy she gave us a look and then started crying. Then she yelled, "Kill them!!! Kill them both!!!"

We ran and hopped in our rental Kia and zipped the hell out of there. I never knew (though always suspected) it was so easy to piss off business school dudez.

We went straight back to the hotel and locked ourselves in our room. Then, after about an hour of lying low, we heard footsteps walk up to our door, then insert a key card, and then, after easily pulling the security chain out of the drywall it was screwed to, he walked into our room. Nic and I were shivering from fear in the tent. We were sure we were gonners. Then the guy sat down on the bed and turned on the T.V. We were too scared to move, let alone unzip the tent window to see who was out there so we laid low. We must have been in there for 2 hours or so. Nic farted like five times. I had a reeeaaally hard time not telling a bean joke.
Then we heard snoring so we both slowly went for the door. We didn't say anything but we both understood the plan was to attack this person in his sleep, like proper men. So we tip-toed out of the tent and then a light clicked on, and a voice said, "Hey Buddies!"

We turned around and saw that it was Todd, the guy from the defunct in-room theatre company who was at our place the other night. Turns out the snoring was from a T.V. show Todd was watching about snoring. Go fig!

Todd explained that he had been looking all over Orlando for us! He even tried contacting Visit Orlando to see if they could tell him where we were going next. The woman on the other end said, "Sir, I don't even know where they're going next." and she hung up.

So after days of searching, without sleeping, eating, or drinking, Todd decided to come back to the hotel room and wait for us. Somewhat ironically, when he originally left us we were in the same place that he found us, in the tent.

Nic and I both agreed that we at least owed him a meal for his troubles and he said we owed him more. After dancing around the topic for a while we finally found out he wanted us to get him a prostitute. We refused since it's illegal and gross but we did agree to set him up on a date with a woman we met who works at the hotel and is very fond of our blog, and our tent. Her name is Becky.
We let Todd clean himself off at our place though he didn't bring a change of clothes so we let him borrow a few things. Before long Becky showed up at our door but she wasn't alone. She brought a guy named Rich along as a chaperon. She said her mom wouldn't let her go otherwise. Rich was a pretty cool dude. He was a friend of Becky's growing up and, although he's now married, Becky's mom still hopes that the two of them might get together some day.







The evening started out ok. We decided to go to a place by the beach that Rich recommended.










It seemed like he wasn't doing anything other than taking a million pictures of everyone.





When we got to the seafood place Todd suggested that we might have an aperitif. Then he pulled out a huge jug of some sort of liquor and downed a huge gulp.


Almost immediately you could see a change in his eye. Then he snapped and ran off. We tried chasing after him for a while but then just decided to go to dinner and let him find us when he was through.

Dinner was great! Some of the freshest seafood around. And as I've often said, I'm on a seafood diet. I can only eat seafood.
The restaurant owned a big portion of the beach so we were allowed to take our beers outside and walk around a little bit, watching the sun set, etc... Then there came Todd!


Out of no where he came, drunk as a sailor! I noticed that the contents of his jug had been drastically reduced and his speech was slurred. He yelled at us for hiding from him.



And then he tried to kiss Becky... He made kissy noises and started walking over to Becky, also trying to sing a burlesque-type song but slipping constantly into livin-la-vida-loca.



Rich tripped him and he fell in the sand and started crying.



Then we decided it would be best to take his liquor, half as a trophy for defeating the great Todd menace, and half because we didn't want him drinking anymore.

By this time all the bars were starting to close and we were starting to sober up so we each drank a little of Todd's concoction. Before long we were all ruined.


I don't remember this but evidently I vommited between Todd's legs. He didn't seem to mind. The look in his eye suggests he even liked it.

Honestly I don't remember much after that. We all somehow ended up back at the hotel. Todd slept in our tent and Becky walked home. We woke up this morning and found out that our assignment was to take a day off today. Whether that's because Christy's P.O.ed at us again or what we don't know or care about. We just need some rest!!



Welp! All's well that ends well and...

OMG!!! We left Rich at the beach!!!